*a girl's diary*

I got this article from peyups.com and I really love it..... i hope you'll like it too

Going Senti

by: chillybean

http://www.peyups.com/article.khtml?sid=4182

Sobrang mahal kita, ayokong maging isang pagkakamali mo. I’m not afraid to be your girlfriend...I’m afraid to be your ex. Ikaw yung pinakahihintay ko buong buhay ko, aminado ko dun, pero I love you too much, it scares me. Hmm…lakas ng ulan. Ang lamig ng hangin. Mas masarap sana itong tagpong ito kung kasama kita, tapos nakaupo lang tayong magkatabi, umiinom ng kape. Kuwentuhan lang. Ganun yung napanood ko sa TV nung isang araw eh. Simpleng eksena pero kakakilig. Ang corny ko, no? Kasalanan mo ito eh! Certified cynical bitch na ako noon, tapos heto ka, biglang nagpapansin. . .

Naalala ko tuloy nung dati, lagi kita nakukuwento sa mga naging roomates ko, friends ko, at sa mga pinsan kong walang magawa kundi mang-usisa ng love life just for kicks. Eh wala naman akong love life nun, pero ewan ko kung bakit pangalan mo nababanggit ko. Tapos iisa reaction nila, “Bakit di naging kayo?” Naks! Feeling telenovela bida naman ako. Sinasabi ko na lang, hindi pwedeng maging tayo kasi totally opposite tayo ng ugali. Feeling ko pa nun, wala kang pakialam sa mundo. Pero fine, crush kita. Bakit, may masama ba?!

Nainis nga ako sayo nung 1st yr high school tayo kasi iniwasan mo ko bigla. Tinukso lang tayo, dinedma mo na ‘ko. Ouch yun, sobra! Pinagselosan ko ata buong mundo nun eh. Kasi lahat sila nginingitian mo, tapos ako nakukuntento na lang sa malayo, nakatulala habang di ka pa nakatingin. Pathetic, pero, weno ngayon? Marami rin naman akong ibang crushes nun. Mamatay ka sa inggit!

Ok na sana ko nun kaso lang, binigyan mo pa ko bigla ng mga regalo. Grabe, daig ko pa tumama sa lotto! Para nga akong laging kinikiliti kapag tinutukso nila tayo, kaso nagwo-walk out ka lang. Kainis! Feeling TGIS pa man din ako nun. . .

Kapag tinatawagan mo ko sa phone, pati yung palabas na hinintay ko ng buong linggo eh pinapalampas ko para lang marinig yung tanong mo tungkol sa isang subject nating di ko rin naman naiintindihan. Tapos siyang-siya akong makipag-alaskahan sayo. Kinarir ko nga PBA nun dahil masarap kang kaaway kapag magkalaban ang Purefoods ko at Gordons mo. . .

At tanda mo yung Grad ball? Isa yun, hanggang sa ngayon, sa pinakamasayang araw sa tanang buhay ko. Nung sinayaw mo ko, feeling ko nakahinto buong mundo, pinapanood tayo. Pero, grabe, wala namang nangyari pagkatapos nun. . .

Ang feeling ko talaga! Kaya nung graduation, I just made sure na ma-hug kita. Tapos sabi ko sa sarili ko, huling hirit ko na talaga yun. Kung bakit di kasi kita maligawan?!

Ngayong college, tinanggap ko na lang na wala na kong pag-asa sa iyo. Pero lagi pa rin kita naiisip. Crush pa rin kita. Eh sa di ko matiis eh! Hindi mo naman alam, ok lang yun. Sabi ko na lang, marami rin ako makikitang kapalit mo. Haha! Mamamatay ka ulit sa inggit. . .

Pero wagka, kapag may gimik ang barkada, it gave me an excuse para tawagan ka’t mang-usi sa lovelife mo, at the same time, crossing my fingers na sana sabihin mo “blanko." May kinuwento ka nga nun, basta nung sinabi mong type mo siya, nalaglag ako sa silya. Aray. Sana di na lang ako nagtanong. Di tuloy ako nakatulog buong gabi. . .

Tuwing nagtetext ka ng mga love quotes, lagpas pa yung ngiti ko sa mukha ko! Ilang linggo yun naka-store sa inbox ko, tapos kapag wala akong ginagawa, binabasa ko nang paulit-ulit, nagfi-feeling-feeling na you meant every word for me. Pero shempre, feeling lang. . .

Eh certified bobing naman talaga ako when it comes to love eh. Sinagot ko nga ang isang nilalang na di ko man lang lubusang kakilala. All along, akala ko tama, until I had the chance to let you know about it. That’s when I realized you still care. Anak ng pitong pating! Akala ko over na ako sa’yo! Lecheng pag-ibig yan, bakit kasi nauso? Buti na lang jerk si ex at di kami nagtagal. Mabait pa rin ang heaven. . .

Tapos, tapos, tapos, nagkita tayo ulit… Torture nga yung few hours before ako dumating sa bahay ng barkada natin, kasi may nag-text sa akin, nandun ka na raw. . .shet, gusto kong lumipad! Malakas pa sa radyo namin ang kabog ng dibdib ko. Tapos nung makita kita, ngiti mo pa lang, lumutang na ko sa ere. Astig ka talaga. Kahit ilang buwan ang lumipas na wala akong balita sa’yo, naha-high pa rin ako kapag nakikita ka. . .

Pero mas astig ka nung nanligaw ka…whoa…!!!!! Ang saya! Kala ko nga isa pa rin sa mga ilusyon ko eh, kaya ang tagal kong nag-isip. Pero partly, gusto kong ikaw ang mag-isip kung sigurado ka ba sa pinaggagawa mo. Baka kasi napilitan ka lang sa kakatukso ng mga barkada nating praning. Eh sobrang mahal kita, ayokong maging isang pagkakamali mo. I’m not afraid to be your girlfriend...I’m afraid to be your ex. Ikaw yung pinakahihintay ko buong buhay ko, aminado ko dun, pero I love you too much, it scares me. Buti na lang, di ka nainip. At buti na lang narindi na yung best friend ko tuwing sasabihin ko sa kanyang sobrang miss kita, naiiyak ako kung minsan. Alam niya kasing kahit kami pa ni ex eh may pagkabato talaga ko. Kaya nagugulantang siya sa kapraningan ko over you. To think, hindi pa tayo nung lagay na yun ah. . .

Isipin mo pa ngayon… na tayo na… whew! galing…kung minsan nga parang di pa rin ako makapaniwalang mahal mo pala talaga ko… After 7 long years, matutupad din pala pangarap kong akala ko isang malaking kahibangan. Kaya nga kahit sobrang dalang tayong magkita ngayon, tinitiis ko. Eh yung pitong taon nga na yun nakayanan ko, ngayon pa kayang libre na sa ‘kin yung ngiti mo na dati-rati ninanakaw ko?

* * * * * * *

This article is from Peyups.com- The UP Online Community

Please include the author's name and the source of this article when copying or sending this article.

stars still shine: 10:00 PM

ummmmmmmmmmmmm []

Hey! Its been a week since I last posted. Its been soo busy and tiring. I was not here in Manila, last Thursday and Friday, nasa Biology Trip ako. i went to Bauan, Batangas. The place was soo beautiful, it was so peaceful and serenity is in the air. Though kinabahan kami nung Friday morning kasi nga, nagkakagulo dito sa Manila. well soo un, life went on for us. I do not want to expound kung anu anu ung nangyari sa Batangas, basta.... It was such a great experience and sana maka balik ako dun with friends/ family of course. Then last Saturday, I was just here sa house doing nothing...... as in nothing...... hahaha :D Well I was preparing for school nung Sunday night, but as you know school got cancelled. Now Monday, I was here inside the house nung morning then I went to Katipunan on the afternoon for our tutor. Then I met up with Lan and Mon, for there palancas. well yun then ung usual.... na aral sa LSC....... then thats it. sige po.... up to here na lng. bye bye!

Rica

stars still shine: 9:35 PM

[Monday, February 20, 2006]

LAst friday, it was our algebra exam. I don't want to comment on it since it might backfire on me. well any way.....moving on..... After school we went to Gayle's house and there we sang and sang sa magic sing nila. hahaha :D ang galing ni PUPU!!!

IDOL!!!!!

hahaha :D sooo un, after nun edi nag ayos ayos na kami. hahaha then nung nsa may harap na kami ng starbucks sa katipunan, nsa loob pa kami ng car nito, dumaan sila Charles, Joel, Biboy, and some one pa (sorry hindi ko kilala) then binababan ni Gayle ung window, and nag-hi siya. After nun, pagkababa na namin ng car, we met up with Mica, DJ, Erika D. sa may starbucks.

We went to Drews muna, bago pumunta sa Yellow cab. Ang haba ng linakad namin...... waaaaaaaaaaa ehhh naka heels pa kami nila Mica nun.... from dun sa may Drews hangang Yellow Cab naglakad kami. Nung nasa yellow cab na kami, dumating si Roy and his friend Paco. Sooo un kasama namin sila tapos dumaan si Mon and si Mark. soo hi hi kami ganyan. hahaha :D tapos nung dumating na ung pizza namin we have to go back. Buti na lng may car si Paco, so nag car kami papuntang Drews tapos naglakad si Roy and si Paco. Kasi ung car ni Paco, ung usual car lng ehhh 8 girls kami lahat. sooo 6 sa likod tapos ako and si Dj sa passenger seat.

THANKS PACO and ROY!!!

Then nung nsa Drews na kami hindi pa ako umiinom si Isay, Iya and Pauline pa lng. Then si Mica and Erika nag take lng ng isang shot. At the end of the night, na tipsy sila Isay and Pauline. nakakatawa sila, super duper kulit nila..... hahaha :D tapos na ka 6 shots ako ng gin (spiked siya) hahaha :D ang dami na nun, kasi second time ko pa lng nun ng paginum. hahaha :D buti na lng mild tipsy pa lng ako. hahaha :D before ako pumunta ng starbucks nagpunta muna ako ng Mcdo with Iya and Carlo A. then nilibre kami ni Carlo ng fries...

Thanks for the Fries!!!

After nung Mcdo, nagpunta na ako sa Starbucks tapos andun pala sila Dj, Mica, and Erika kasama nila si Roy. Sooo sumama ako saka nila dun. Then dumating na sila Isay, PAuline, Iya, Arlo, Carlo A., Toby and Pierre. hahaha :D then madami pa nangyari nun hangang sa umalis na ako..... soo unn. Un ang highlight ng weekend ko....

then

RED BULL WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!

well sige po up to here na lng muna

Rica

stars still shine: 10:30 PM

Darn right sucks. [Tuesday, February 14, 2006]

HAPPY VALENTINES!!!!

well its valentines day and mine sucks. its because of the very reason na the one person i really want to greet me this valentines day, did not. Most of my friends already greeted me, some were late but still they did. pero bakit ung mahal ko hindi parin. well its life, after all im just a friend.

some thing i realized a while ago was this..........

"There are no reasons for me, not to love you. But then there are reasons for me, to forget you and let go."

Rica

stars still shine: 6:56 PM

The past few days..... [Saturday, February 11, 2006]

ok soo the week was not exactly the fun week. I had alot of problems and frustration and I got paranoid again. I really like to go out right now and just shop and shop and shop till the end of time. I like to go out with my friends, and spend time with. Hopefully we will go out on Feb 14. We shall have our own "date" hahaha :D well till here.

Rica

stars still shine: 5:53 PM

Recap!!!! [Sunday, February 05, 2006]

hello!! Its sunday, and a lot of things have happened since my last post. weird? yes I know.

02.01.06

Its wednesday and I brought my digi cam in school. We took pictures of ourselves during breaktimes and during classes as well (mean? yes, we know) Though it was sad since Isay, was absent, and still we do not have a complete barkada pic. Until now, well sana magkaron na kami ng pic na complete kami. hahaha :D

02.02.06

Its Thursday, we received a sermon from Sir.Peralta for being sooo noisy, though I can't exactly blame him for that since we were indeed noisy, and we already crossed the line.We were just half day, since some parents will be having meetings with our teachers. Then when night came, i asked permission from my parents if I can go to a "friend's" party, and my dad just told me that, If I didn't receive any line of seven, I can go but if I did I must go home, straight from school. It sucks? yes I know. dreading the next day........

02.03.06

Its Friday, and its card day. The day that I have been waiting for. I was all over the place while waiting for the cards to be released to us, I cannot concentrate in what I was doing. When received our 3rd qt report cards, mine was just fine. I was glad that I didn't got any line of seven. And since I didn't get any line of seven, I can go to our soiree with 2-h of AHS. The soiree was great, though at first I wasn't enjoying. Eventually, I did enjoy and I most of the guys. The guys were not KJ and masaya sila kasama. The people in the party really mingled with each other. Dj you did a great job!!! hahaha :D After the party, I went home with Sam. doon ako nagpasundo sa house nila. Then I brought Isay home, since malapit lang siya sa akin nakatira. Then I went home na and went to bed.

02.04.06

First saturday, we went to Lipa, Batangas. I woke very early. After the mass, we went back na to Manila. We went to Katipunan, so that we can attend our tutorials. then we went home na. then nag away kami ng father ko. well actually, may kasalanan nga ako, but still its not entirely my fault noh.

02.05.06

Sunday, hindi parin kami naguusap ng dad ko. well sige po up to here na lang. Still have to read my AP and GAPO.

Rica

stars still shine: 6:30 PM